Chapter 17.                         Burying Matt’s mom.

Just like the night before I was awaken by Nick who wandered into the room. This time it was earlier and there weren’t nearly as many things wrong. We never did get to talk much about the problem with him and touching me but I felt pretty secure we were okay after he said what he did to me on the phone. He got into bed next to me after noticing I was awake.

“Sorry JR but I really want to be with you. I was too tired before or I would have come straight in here.”

“Its okay Nicky get in and settle down.”

He did just that and after a while he scooted closer, much closer than last night. He was touching me and had his hand on my back as I had rolled over to lie on my side facing away from him. I wanted to get back to sleep but his touch felt good, even at 1am.

“I love you JR.” he whispered to me.

I rolled over and looked at him in the little light we had.

“I love you too cute boy.”

I leaned out and gave him a small peck in the lips. I think it startled him.

“Wow JR you never really did that before.”

“Is there anything wrong with it?”

“No I kinda liked it.”

“Well go to sleep and maybe later today I will kiss something else.”

“You promise?”

“Yes Nick as long as nothing major happens and the world doesn’t end I promise that we will do something later today.”

“Great!” he said and then he got quiet.

I too eventually fell back to sleep and I felt good when I woke. I really must have slept well because the alarm went off and Nick had to wake me up to turn it off.

“JR wake up man that alarm has been going off for over a minute.”

He shook me.

“JR!”

“Huh? Oh… I reached out and shut the alarm clock off. Sorry cutie I was out of it.”

“Yeah I guess so since it woke me up instead of you.”

“Oh hush up. At least you get to go back to bed.”

He snickered.

“You think that’s funny? I am setting the alarm for 7:45 and you better be up and ready when I get home from work.”

“I will I promise.”

“Good because if you aren’t I am gonna spank your butt.”

“Really? You would do that?”

“I might consider it.”

He looked at me like I was totally serious and then put his head back down on the pillow as I got up.

“JR I might like that.”

“Oh hush up!” I said as I walked out to the bathroom. He giggled as I left the room.

I washed up and brushed my teeth as the sleep slowly cleared my head and eyes. I walked back in the room a few minutes later and he was still awake.

“JR I can’t sleep.”

“Why, what’s wrong?”

“I am thinking about what you said before with setting the alarm and after that I know I have to get up and we have to get ready for the funeral and burying Matt’s mom and I think I can handle that but I am not sure I can handle what happens tomorrow.”

I sat down next to him on the bed.

“Look Nicky… I do understand that this hurts even if you are mad about what your dad did and I even understand that something inside you is making you not want to do this tomorrow but you know as well as I do that we have to do depressing things sometimes. I think you should call your mom when you get up because it’s too early now and she would freak or even later today. Talk to her about this. I know you Nick but she is your mom and might have things to tell you that could help.”

“But what do I tell her JR?”

“The truth or whatever you are feeling right here.” I said pointing to his heart.

“Even if it’s embarrassing?”

“That’s up to you Nicky but she is your mom, she is hurting too even if he did something wrong and you need to talk to your sister and let her knows things are okay between you and her too.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because she doesn’t know how you feel since your dad did that to her. You haven’t told her its okay and things like that have you?”

“No, of course not. Its too embarrassing and I wouldn’t know what to say.”

“Then its time to grown up a little bit big guy. She might think she is responsible for what happened. She might be blaming herself for what he did.”

“No! JR She can’t do that. How could she think what my dad did was her fault. NO! That is wrong!”

I reached out and rubbed his chest a little.

“We know that Nick but she doesn’t or might not. You need to talk to her, ever if she is younger. Tell her what happened was wrong and it wasn’t her fault and you still love her and most of all care a lot about her… even if you don’t.”

He smiled when I said the last part.

“I think I understand JR.”

“Good because Sara is only eleven and she probably has talked to your mom and maybe someone else about what happened but you really haven’t said anything to her yet about that have you?”

“No. I was too scared.”

“Ok, I have to get to work I will be back around 8am. I expect you to be awake and doing something other then moping around.”

“I will JR I promise.”

“Okay then… see you in a bit.”

I turned and walked out heading downstairs. He still has a lot of work ahead of him before he can put this whole thing to rest. I went out and started my truck and headed to work. I arrived after stopping for my usual morning coffee and snack and both engines were out so I went inside and monitored the radio to see what was happening. There was a lot of traffic on it. After listening for a bit a few of the other guys came in and asked me what was going on with the trucks being out.

“Not sure yet but there is a lot of radio action.”

“JR call police headquarters and ask them.”

“Good idea Jerry.”

I rang up the police station.

“Hi this is Scott over at the firehouse can you tell me what is going on, both the squad and engine are out.”

He filled me in and then we hung up. I turned to the four other guys who were now with me in the captain’s office.

“Sounds like they had a worker on the highway. An eighteen wheeler caught fire and was fully involved when they arrived.”

“What time was the alarm?” one of them asked.

“Dispatch said 5:24”

“Wow they have been out for a while.” He said.

“Yeah and all we can do is wait. Regulations won’t let us drive over so unless they call for more manpower we are stuck here until they get back.”

The other guys already knew what I said and all shook their head in agreement before walking away. I stayed to monitor the radio and a few minutes later one of them came in and told me that there was something on the news about it. I ran in and we watched. It was now after 6am and our shift had started but all we could do was watch the reporter on TV from the morning news tell us what was happening.

“Hey look there’s our engine.” One of them said.

“Yeah and there is Thompson and Gilmore!” said another.

They are two of the night guys and they were spraying water on the trailer as the camera panned and showed them. We watched as they occasionally covered the mess which by the way had the entire highway south bound closed and by 6:40 they were telling us that the road would be reopened by 7am. Sure enough by 7:10 both the squad and engine were back in quarters and the guys headed in to clean up while we were on duty now. Cap got called directly to the scene and he was just walking in now as we all went over and he filled us in on what happened.

“What a mess and stink guys. It was a garbage truck and whatever was in there was horrid. It smelled like a thousand baby diapers.”

We all laughed. He went on to brief us on what the chief was going to do today and then he looked at me and told me he hoped the funeral went ok and I thanked him. I told the others a little about it and since the rest of my short shift was quiet we didn’t even go out on a run before I left at 7:55. Cap let me go a little early since Roberts came in for me at 7:45. I headed out after saying good bye and straight home. I got there and as promised Nicky was already awake and waiting for me at the door. He stood there with it opened as I drove up.

I got out of the truck and he walked over to meet me.

“I called mom at 7:30 and told here what we talked about and asked her what she thought.”

“Great, come on lets go inside, we can finish talking in there. By the way how is your leg?”

“Really good today JR.”

We went in side and after I put my things down I turned to him.

“So what did she say?”

“That you are really smart for talking to me about this and she told me to thank you. She also said that we will talk about this after the funeral and she was going to be there so not to worry about it for now. She also told me to tell you that she appreciates that you were thinking about Sara and her feelings.”

I rubbed his head as I gave him a hug.

“I am glad you told me. Thanks. I’ll talk to your mom later about this too. Lets get ready I want to be at the church for 8:45 I think there is a small mass first and I know Matt wants to see me.”

“Yeah I want to see him too JR. boy am I glad I can walk today and I don’t need the crutches. Do you think I can go to practice tonight?”

“Yes if you want but only to watch. I will be going too and hopefully Matt will be able to join us.”

“I know I can’t do anything I still feel it but I want to go and watch. Can he practice?”

“I don’t think so Nicky. I think queen grouch won’t let him. I’ll find out when we get there.”

We both headed upstairs to change. I grabbed my black pants and a black shirt I had. I am not wearing a tie. After I was done I went in to check on Nick, he was almost done. He had black pants and a dark shirt to wear.

“You have shoes too right Nick?”

“Yeah, I do. At least they will fit me right.”

“Why are your pants too loose or tight?”

“Loose JR but the belt helps.”

“Oh, good. Ok you are almost ready and I am so we should get there by 8:30. I’m going downstairs, see you in a bit.”

“Okay, be right down. I just want to comb my hair.”

“Okay cute boy.”

He smiled at me and I headed out of his room and down stairs. I went into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of milk and drank it while I waited for him to come down. About a minute later he came down slowly but still without crutches and I watched him walk.

“You look better too now. Guess most of the pain is gone?”

“Yeah just a little sometimes but I am really happy I can walk today.”

“Me too Nick, me too. So you ready to go do this?”

“Not really JR but I guess we have to and I know you want to see Matt.”

“Yes I do, don’t you?”

“Of course, I didn’t mean it that way.”

“Well let’s get going he needs all the support he can get today.”

As long as the fucking witch leaves me alone things will be fine! I thought to myself.

Anyway we headed out to the truck. We got outside and Bastion was out there with Tommy and his mom.

“Hey JR, Bonnie said as we walked to meet one another. You ready to do this?”

“As ready as I can be. I see you have Tommy. Just please do me a favor, if I get worked up while I am there understand that isn’t the real me, it’s just the witch doing it to me?”

She smiled at me.

“I know you well enough Jeremy that you don’t have to worry about me and yes I grabbed Tommy, he wanted to go as you know so I didn’t want to add anymore to your plate. So how do you think Matt will be today?”

“A total mess but probably not as bad as he would if I weren’t there.”

“I agree. We better get going now.”

“Yeah, I’ll see you over there.”

“Sure JR, see you there honey.”

He headed back and got in the car with Bastion and Tommy and I headed out following her with Nick. We arrived a few minutes later and both parked in the lot. I got out and no sooner did I shut the door then Matt was all over me. I barely got to take a step. He ran over and hugged me right in the middle of the parking lot. I could tell he was crying. I held him for a minute and looked at Nick. He pointed and walked over to Bastion, Tommy, and Bonnie. She gave me eye contact and the three of them went inside and gave me time to talk to Matt alone. No one was close to us but people were watching from a distance. I pulled him away.

“Hey cute boy, I sure missed you.”

He looked up at me as a few tears rolled down his cheeks.

“JR I missed you so much I don’t want to go inside, I hate this. She has been so nasty to me and last night she made me clean more and yelled. I almost ran away JR, I almost left. It if wasn’t for Ash and Joey I would have.”

“Okay, okay calm down. I am here now and I need you on your best behavior or she won’t let you come with me.”

“Oh, he said as he wiped his face. She will let me go with you today JR I already know it. I heard her talking last night to my uncle and she said she couldn’t put up with me and after the funeral she was happy you were getting me for the rest of the day. She told him she needed a break that I was driving her insane.”

He smiled through his tears. I smiled back.

“That is good news sweetie but we still have to do this so dry your face and let’s get inside and say good bye to your mom.”

“Yeah.”

He walked next to me all the way in and I got a few looks from some of his relatives but otherwise some people did smile and shake my hand. We went inside and I said hi to Mary and her husband and he shook my hand. Matt didn’t look at Mary he went over and talked to Nick, Bastion, Tommy, and Bonnie. She gave him a hug as I walked up. The three boys talked a bit quietly and then before we knew it, it was time to take our seats. The Pastor came out and asked us all to be seated. Matt went to sit with his brother and sister and we sat behind him. Thankfully I got directly behind him and the boys were on my right and Bonnie sat on the end. Margaret showed up a few minutes later and sat next to me on the other side and the service began shortly after that. Matt turned to me a few times and I could see he was very upset. I put my hand on his shoulder twice to try and comfort him and he broke half a smile off at me once. He wasn’t acting thirteen today that was for sure. It’s quite understandable when you have to bury your mom at age 37 you won’t be happy for a while after that. The service was beautiful and lasted about twenty five minutes. She wasn’t eulogized but the Pastor said some nice things about her. Ashley cried almost the entire time and Matt did his best to comfort her but he cried too and so did Joey but much less since he didn’t totally understand what was happening. We got up and filed out and headed to our cars as we were going to all follow to her final resting place now. I headed out with Nick and Mary stopped me on the way.

“I need to talk to you for a moment before we leave.”

“Sure where do you want to go?”

“Follow me.”

“Nick please take my keys and go wait in the truck I will be right out.”

“Sure JR.”

She walked off into a private area.

“Look I just wanted you to know that Matthew has held up his end of the agreement so I will uphold mine. This however does not change anything at all afterwards. Today he will be with you and you can have him tomorrow for Nick’s funeral too but I expect him home for bed on Wednesday.”

“I can do that Mary.”

“Also there is one more thing. You are going to be invited to the reading of the will. For some reason my sister wanted you there. I don’t for the life of me understand why but I wanted you to know since the lawyer told me today. The reading will be Friday at 2pm. Can you make it?”

“I will be there. Just let me know where it will be.”

“I will follow up with the particulars when I get them. Also I have a bag of Mathews clothes packed for him.”

“That’s fine but he still has things by me.”

“Eventually we will get them since he will be moving in by me permanently.”

“What about him visiting me?”

“That will depend on his attitude and how well he takes care and cleans up after his brother and sister.”

I bit my tongue with what I wanted to say and just shook my head yes.

“That is fine.” I said.

“We will work out occasional days for him to come visit you since I don’t seem to have a choice. He has already told me that if he can’t see you at least once a week that he will make my life miserable and after yesterday I do believe he can do that. So all I ask is when he is with you that you don’t get his hopes up too high that he will be staying for any long period of time.”

Again I shook my head yes and bit my tongue. I swear it was bleeding right about now but if I wanted time with Matt I had to kiss her ass for now. I can’t imagine what I would have to do with the will but I will make sure I am there Friday.

“Is that all Mary?”

“Yes for now.”

I walked away without saying another word. As soon as I was out of her hearing range I cursed up a storm under my breath. I got in and Nick looked at me.

“You look mad, did she get you again?”

“You could say that.”

“But is Matt still coming over?”

“Yes he is for today and tomorrow but he has to be back to sleep there Wednesday night.”

“Well JR at least you get a little time with him.”

“I know Nicky, I know. Also she told me that I have been invited to the reading of the will on Friday. That is really fast to do a reading after someone passes away but I don’t care maybe with any luck it will be good news.”

“Yeah JR maybe it will say in the will that you are going to be Matt’s garden.”

I laughed.

“That’s guardian Nicky.”

“Oh well whatever it is I hope it happens.”

“Yeah me too. If he has to live with her he is going to turn into a problem that I might not even be able to fix and don’t you dare repeat any of this you got me mister?”

“Yes sir.”

“Did you talk to your mom?”

“Yes she told me I looked handsome and that I should wear this tomorrow too.”

“What time do we have to be there?”

“She said she would call you later with all that since you have to talk to her already.”

“Okay good. It looks like we are starting to move now so it won’t be long before we get to the cemetery. You okay?”

“Not when I think about it. Otherwise I am fine.”

I put my hand on his knee and gave him a gentle squeeze.

“I know what you mean Nick. It will be okay eventually.”

“Yeah… whenever I guess.”

We were off for the cemetery now. The ride is outside of town and will take us about twenty minutes or so to get there. The time passed quickly as Nick played with the radio the entire time. I think we might have listened to two whole songs the entire trip there.

“You are going to drive me insane Nicholas.”

He looked at me.

“Yeah I might but you still love me.”

I reached out and messed his hair.

“Yeah I still love you. You brat.”

“Me a brat… HA!”

We got out after parking along side of the small road and gathered together before following along to the burial plot. This time Matt came over to me and he walked over with me. He didn’t care what she thought, he wanted to be with me, and he stuck to me like glue. We stood at the grave site and the Pastor said some final words after a prayer and then each of the kids grabbed a handful of dirt and threw it onto the casket. I stood there with Matt at my side and my arm around his shoulder. On my other side was Nick but he wasn’t doing anything except standing there. It was finally time to leave and the boys walked back to the car with Bonnie and Margaret. I was asked by Matt to stay behind and he, Ashley and Joey held hands with Mary at one end and me at the other holding Matt’s hand. They started to lower her into the ground. All of them cried as I did my best not to. When she finally stopped in her final resting spot they each threw a flower into the grave and then once more grabbed a handful of dirt and threw it in on top of the casket. We walked away after that and Matt stayed glued to me. When we got back to the limo Mary handed me his clothing and some other things and then Matt hugged Ashley and then Joey and told him he would see them in a few days. They got in the limo and I walked over to my truck. Nick was inside and waiting as Matt turned around and looked over at his mother’s gravesite.

“JR I would like to come back here again real soon and just spend some time alone with her and you if that’s okay.”

“Sure is love. Anytime you want. You just let me know.”

He hugged me and buried his face into my chest. He began to cry some and he pulled away after a bit and looked up at me.

“I’m really gonna miss her JR. I don’t know what I am gonna do without my momma.”

He put his head back into my chest and wept some more. I just held him until he regained control. Finally we got into my truck and headed off to the reception. There was a small get together for lunch and anything else at a local place in town. We headed over to that and joined up with the others. And to think I get to do this again tomorrow. Great! We drove to the reception and everyone did their thing. Some came over to Matt and said gave their condolences and others just gave him a hug. We sat at a table with the boys, Margaret and Bonnie. After we ate and were done we got up and head out to our vehicles. Margaret said goodbye to Nick and gave him a hug and kiss. It was close to 1pm as we finally headed home. The ride home was quiet except for some occasional sniffles. We got to my house and after I parked we headed inside. Both boys went upstairs to change immediately and I checked my mail before I headed up to get out of this suit pants myself. By 1:30 the TV was on and both boys were sitting together talking a little about things as I sat in my chair with both of them together on the couch a few feet from me.

“JR will you come sit between us?” Matt asked.

“Are you okay with that Nick?”

“I asked him to ask you.” She replied.

“Oh.”

I got up and they separated as I sat down. Both of them scooted over and I put an arm around each pulling them to me. I leaned over and kissed each of them on top of their head.

“Matt you are coming to practice with me and JR later right?”

“Yeah I wouldn’t miss it for anything and I sure hope I can find a way back to playing again soon. How is your leg?”

“It’s all right.  Still hurts some but today is my first day without the crutches.”

“Are you going to practice tonight?”

“No JR won’t let me and I don’t think Coach Fergus will either.”

“Don’t listen to him Matt. I won’t let him… he isn’t totally healed yet and if he would run on it he would be in pain in five minutes tops.”

Matt leaned forward and looked past me at Nick.

“Is that true?”

“Ummmmm… no comment!”

Matt laughed at Nick. It was the first time I heard him laugh in close to a week. It was sweet music to my ears!

“You know JR if you want maybe later we can go over some plays so I don’t forget them.”

“You won’t forget them in a few days Matt. But if you want to we can look at the play book later. We have a few hours before anything happens do you want to do something?” I said to Matt.

“You mean like in the bedroom?”

That got Nick’s attention.

“Maybe.” I said.

Matt looked over at Nick.

“You in the mood?”

“Are you kidding Matt? We are thirteen when aren’t we in the mood for that?”

Both boys laughed and I did too.

“Do you want me to start it here boys or shall we wait?”

“What did you have in mind JR?” Nick asked.

“Do you want me to tell you or just show you?”

Matt said tell and Nick said show. We all giggled again.

“Okay since Matt doesn’t seem to want me touching him then he can watch what I have planned while I do it to you Nick.”

“Hey that isn’t fair!” Matt squawked.

I went through the motions as Matt watched from behind. I wasn’t going to do anything but I wanted to follow up with the tease. As I reached out to Nick I could feel him leaning on me and almost tugging me in his direction practically pulling me away from Nick.

“Stop doing that it’s very uncomfortable!”

He backed off but didn’t say anything as he tried a new angle to watch me from. I reached out as Matt came over my right shoulder now with his weight on the sofa and his eyes fixated on my hand. I move my hand closer to Nick’s crotch and Nick was watching me just as closely as Matt now. I looked back at him, he looked at Matt and smiled and then back at me. It was that smile that kinda said I want this but I am a little nervous at the same time.  My fingers finally reached Nicky’s pants and he was now watching me intently. I started running my finger back and forth over the upper leg towards the inside, inches from his crotch and balls. Since he was wearing jeans there probably wasn’t as much contact as there would normally be on a thinner fabric. I went up and down his inner leg inching closer to his crotch while Matt seemed to hang on almost drooling at what he was missing. Nick sat motionless and without a doubt he had to be having some level of arousal now. Anything that was happening was being blocked by his jeans. Finally I had enough play and I slid my hand all the way up gently brushing his balls and cock. I felt nothing but I know Nick felt something from his reaction. He practically sighed from the contact. I looked up at him and our eyes met.

“You want more?”

He shook his head yes.

“Then get those jeans off.”

As quickly as he could he stood up and dropped them to the floor. He stepped out of them and sat back down in his boxer. Now I could do anything and I was betting Matt was starting to go a little crazy from his spot next to me watching this happen. I put my hand back where it was before and moved my finger back up his inner leg but this time much faster. I reached my target and felt a little bit of a boner as my finger traced the outline of his hardness. I added my thumb to the fun and felt his entire cock now as I wrapped the fingertips of my hand around it and gave it a little quick stroke. I could feel Matt squirming about a little more behind me now and without a doubt his level of pleasure was changing as he watched me play with Nick’s now almost hard cock through his boxers. I pulled back and took my hand and went inside through the leg hole and felt around for a second first brushing by his balls and then I found my hard present. Nick was laying back now as relaxed as he could be under the circumstances and Matt seemed like he wanted to jump over me and get in line for then next show or shall I say touch. Nicky took a few deep breaths now as I looked up at him and his eyes were starting to close. I had him! I ran my finger up and down the underside of his stiff cock now but it was still in his boxers so Matt was totally lost as to what was happening and it wasn’t like he could ask Nick in his current stage of bliss. I went back and forth a few times before I ran my finger over the tip of his cock and felt a little wetness from his piss slot. He must be leaking. I pulled out and brought my reward to my lips for a taste of his boy juice. As I did so Nick opened his eyes to see what was happening since there suddenly wasn’t anymore contact inside his boxers.

“Why did you stop? Are you doing what I think you are JR?”

“Maybe. What do you think I am doing?”

He looked at me and then over at Matt and back at me.

“Never mind, I don’t want to say it.”

I smiled and I think Matt was lost in the moment. I know he watched as I slid my hand along side his boxers and then I moved it until I found what I wanted. Even if he didn’t know I did. It was a stiff but not thick and hard unit. I felt it and grabbed it as his eyes closed once again. I continued doing what I was before running my fingers up and down his shaft and bringing him all the attention a boy his age wants when it comes to sex. I ran my fingers over every inch of his stiff tool, played with his piss slit and even with his balls a little before I pulled out again. He immediately looked at me.

“Why did you stop again? You are really starting to tease me now. Twice you got me going and you stopped.”

I sat there and let him chastise me. Finally he stopped and looked at me and then Matt and then he finally realized he was yelling at me for no reason. I also wasn’t in the mood to hear Nick complain about something so simple like this after the funeral this morning. Especially since I was offering it for free, not strings attached… so I got up.

“Where are you going JR? Please…I’m sorry don’t go now it felt so good.”

I stopped, turned, and looked at him.

“If it felt so good then maybe Matt will help you. I don’t like being yelled at or told how to offer fun and how much to offer. I was going to play a little, tease you, and get you really close before I finished you off but now I just don’t know. This isn’t like you Nick. Lately you have been surprising me with your mood swings and I am starting to get confused.”

I turned and walked away. He didn’t say anymore to me. He said something to Matt but I didn’t hear it since I walked into the kitchen. As I went to the refrigerator Matt walked into the kitchen behind me.

“What are you doing in here?” I asked him,

“Nick is really upset. He thinks you are mad at him.”

“I am, just a little but I am.”

“What are you gonna do JR, please… I have had so much trouble with Mary I just wanted to come here and have a good time. Please… don’t fight with him…”

“Come here cute boy.”

He came to me and I gave him a hug. I held him and talked to him.

“I love you Matt and I love Nick too but I am not going to take any wining from anyone in my house. I know I was teasing him but he needs to learn a little patience. He would have gotten exactly what he wanted because I was going to take him and you upstairs to finish. I don’t know what is wrong with him but he does have a lot on his mind since he has to go through the same thing you did today when he buries his dad tomorrow.” 

 I let go of him and he stood in front of me looking me in the eyes.

“You are so beautiful Matthew. I would love nothing more then to take care of you, love you, and be your guardian until you are old enough to care for yourself.”

“I know JR. I wish that would happen. I wish I didn’t have to see my aunt again or even listen to her order me around one more time but I have to. If I want to see you I have to.”

He came back over to me and hugged me again. He squeezed me tightly as I rubbed the back of his head.

“I am so happy you are here Matt. You have no idea how much I have missed you!”

He broke his hug and looked at me again.

“I know JR… I know because I have missed your hugs so much. I didn’t get any from her. All I got was clean up your room. Wash this, do that… she doesn’t know how to show love. I am so sick of hearing her voice I just want to cry and I miss my mom.”

That was it… that did it. He buried his head in my chest and started to cry.

“Let it out Matt. Its okay sweet boy I am here and you are with me now.”

I held him for a bit and hugged him as Nick came into the room but stayed far enough away to give us privacy. I was sure he heard everything since the house was quiet except for us talking. I looked at him and smiled and he tried to break a smile off back to me but he was hurting too by the look on his face. Now I have to deal with what happened out there and see if he is over being so pissy. Finally Matt regained some of his composure and pulled away from me and wiped his face with his hands. I handed him a towel but it was too late he already used his hand but he still took the towel. Nicky walked over after that and startled Matt a little but just because he didn’t know Nick was close by.

“Sorry Matt I didn’t mean to scare you.” Then he looked at me. “I am really sorry for what I said out there JR. I wasn’t thinking about anything but being horny and you making me feel better.”

Now he came over and wanted a hug. Two very emotional boys right now and tomorrow it could get worse. Great! Eventually things calmed down and both boys went to wash and clean up after that emotional episode. While they were upstairs the doorbell rang and I went to get it.

“Hey JR I wanted to come over and see you while I was still around.”

“Come on in Tommy.”

“Where are Matt and Nick?”

“Upstairs it’s been a tough afternoon so far.”

“I understand that and we have to do this again tomorrow.”

“You are going again?”

“Yes both Bastion and I are going. We figured it’s only fair if we went to Matt’s we should go to Nicky’s too.”

I put my hand on his shoulder.

“I’m proud of you for thinking that way Tommy.”

“Thanks. Hey I want to know while they are still upstairs do you think we can get a little private time soon?”

“Why Thomas… are you missing my touch?”

“Oh yeah… the little bit of fun we had together at the swim parties was awesome. JR I swear after you did what you did for me the feeling was the best I ever had and I miss it now. Think we can do that again soon?”

“We can try Tom but Nick is in the house a lot and it’s not easy.”

“Maybe tomorrow then?”

“If he stays with his mom I suppose we might find some time alone. But I still have Matt tomorrow.”

“Damn! I miss having Matt around and the one time he is here…”

I could see the frustration in Tommy’s face.

“I know Tom. We’ll figure something out.”

Just then I heard one of them coming down the step.

“Who’s here JR, I hear voices.”

“Out here by the front door Matt. Tommy is here.”

He walked in and went over to Tom and the tapped fists together.

“Thanks for coming today Tommy that was nice of you.”

“Glad I could be there for you and tomorrow for Nick.”

“Kewl you are going tomorrow too?”

“Sure, I need to have my friends back’s in their time of need.”

It was a little sappy but it was still sweet. I reached out and messed Tommy’s hair and he smiled at me.

“So you coming in or are we going to stand in the doorway until its practice time?”

“Oh yeah…JR are you coming tonight?”

“Yes and so is Matt and Nick.”

“Kewl can Nick practice yet?”

“No probably Friday it’s too soon to tell right now. Today is his first day without crutches.”

“Speaking of him I hear him coming down the steps now.” Matt said.

Sure enough slowly but steadily Nick too the steps and when he reached the bottom he looked over and saw Tommy.

“Tommy!” He exclaimed as he headed over.

They too did the fist thing and I just shook my head. I headed off and let them have a little chat without me. It’s not like it was private at all since I could hear them talk in the kitchen. No sooner then I got there they followed.

“JR we’re hungry.”

“Famous last words. You guys just ate ninety minutes ago at the reception how can you possibly be hungry?”

“We are growing boys!” Tommy said.

We started to laugh.

“Okay so what are you boys having?”

I said as I looked directly at Tommy and winked. He smiled at me. The boy had something to eat and hung out for about the next hour. Around 3:30 Tommy said thanks and headed back to Bastions house where Bonnie was going to take him home to get ready for practice. After he left I made sure Matt and Nick were okay and either were upset from earlier. They both told me they were and around 4:30 we got into the truck and I headed to the practice field. We were the first ones there so Nick and Matt threw around the football until a few of their teammates stared to show up. Then there were a bunch of questions asked to Matt about how he was doing after the funeral and to Nick on how his leg was. Coach Fergus showed up around 5:05 and he was a little surprised to see me there but still happy after coaching alone on Friday. We discussed practice and strategies for a bit and then he talked privately to Matt and check out Nick’s leg before blowing the whistle for practice to begin. By the time practice was half over Matt and Nick were both starting to go crazy. Nick from watching and not being able to practice as they stood with us while their teammates ran through plays and Matt because he knew he wasn’t going to be playing anymore thanks to his Aunt and watching this was ripping him apart some inside. During water break he told me that if he knew it was going to be this tough to just watch he might have thought about staying home. I asked if he meant it and he said no but it still sucks. Practiced ended around 7:30 since Bill had something to do tonight after 8 and he didn’t want to be late for it. We still got our two hours in anyway. Normally we stay till 8 and then send them home. In a few weeks it will go to 7:30 because we will be out of light. Towards the end of the season we try to move over to Miller park because they have lights there but we always get bitched at for ripping up their fields so Bill is going to have to check and see if we can do that again this year come late September. After practice ended the boys said their peace to their teammates or at least Matt did and I told Bill I would have to cut out early tomorrow night because I had to have Matt home by 8. He understood why I had to leave but not at all about why Matt wasn’t being allowed to play anymore.

“All I can say Bill is if you knew that kids aunt you would or might understand more. She wants him to play soccer and he said no. I swear she is going to do some damage to the boy if she keeps trying to control him instead of live his life normally.”

“What are you doing JR? I mean is there any chance you can get the boy away from her. Not because I want him to play football mind you but so he can live like you said… a normal life?”

“I don’t know and I don’t think so… all I do know Bill is Friday at 2pm the will is being read and I have been invited.”

“Wow that might be something good.”

“Yeah or it could be the end of my relationship with Matt all together and the beginning of the end for him.”

“Is it that serious?”

“It could be. All I know is they do nothing but argue and disagree whenever he is there. She is controlling and all he does it what he has to so he can get to be with me occasionally.”

“Damn… that sucks!”

“You have no idea. Today was hard on him Bill. Between Matt burying his mom today and actually staying with me overnight he is caught in between feelings. He is totally out of it with losing his mom and very happy he is away from his aunt.”

“I will see if I can help JR but I don’t have a lot of connections when it comes to legal matters and I wish you only the best my friend because you have to do this again tomorrow with Nick don’t you?”

“Yeah another day of tears but at least Nick’s mom will be there. Matt had no one but me and his siblings.”

“Well again I am sorry but we’ll talk more as we can JR I have to run or I will be late for my dinner appointment.”

“Take care Bill.”

“Thanks you too JR. Good luck tomorrow.”

“Thanks.”

I headed to the truck and him to his car so he could put his gear and balls away and take off before it got any later. I got there and all three of us got in.

“Okay boy’s what’s for dinner?”

After some discussion we decided to go for pizza and headed directly to the pizza parlor this time. We ate and filled our bellies on pizza, breadsticks, and salad before we headed home. We got back around 9pm and I was immediately bombed with questions from both of them asking about if we were going to fool around tonight.

“How about you two go shower and then I will take one after you guys are done and then we will meet in my room and have some fun without a repeat of what happened this afternoon.” I said looking at Nick.

They both agreed and one at a time starting with Matt both boys went and showered. I talked to Nick for a bit about earlier since I had him alone now.

“JR I know what you are going to say especially after Matt asked and then I did about tonight. I am sorry about before and if we do something I promise I will be good.”

“Okay Nick because that wasn’t like you earlier, I fell in love with a cute, sweet and well mannered boy many weeks ago and today he seemed to be gone… totally gone.”

“I’m sorry I guess I have been thinking about what is going to happen tomorrow a lot lately and something is wrong JR… I don’t know what it is but I don’t feel happy anymore. I don’t mean being with you. I love that. I mean just me. Like something was taken from me and I don’t know how to get it back.”

“You mean your dad and what he did to your sister or the fact that you aren’t a family anymore and you are living with a semi stranger?”

“I don’t know. Both maybe.”

“I am sorry Nick but I think you need to talk to your mom about that. I thought you were going to after the funeral today. Maybe its time you got back with her and lived as a family again. That might be what you need.”

“NO! I mean please JR I love being here. Being with you. Sleeping naked when I want to and the freedom of doing what I want. I did talk to her a little today but I just couldn’t say this to her. JR she has so much going on with tomorrow I didn’t want to go there and make it worse!”

“That comes with a price Nick. You are paying that price. It’s called no loved ones or shall I say family around. That might be too big a price for you to pay right now.”

“Or it could be something else JR.”

“Like what?”

“I want to say it but… it’s embarrassing and I think it’s the real reason I have been acting so weird lately.”

“Do you want to tell me Nick? You don’t have to unless you want to. You can always call your mom and talk to her.”

“No…. no… she can’t know this… if I am right I don’t want her knowing this. It might hurt her. Please JR if I tell you we have to keep it between us okay?”

“Sure Nick as long as it’s not dangerous I will keep your promise.”

“Okay as long as I have your word. I think…”

Just as he started to say it Matt came down. We talked so long that he hurried through his shower and was now dressed in a tee shirt and shorts with his hair semi combed but still wet.

“Okay I am all washed.”

I looked at Nick.

“Sorry. I want to hear what you have to say but do you want to tell me now?”

“No JR its private and I like Matt but… no I don’t want to talk about this in front of him.”

Matt looked at us.

“What happened did I do something wrong?”

“No sweetie you didn’t you just took a quicker shower than either of us expected and we were having a private chat.”

“I’ll go back upstairs if you want JR.”

“No. Please Matt stay. It’s ok, really. I can talk to JR about this later or tomorrow. Please stay here and I will go shower now.”

Nick looked at me and then headed upstairs. He really looked depressed. He climbed the steps slowly and then when he was out of site Matt came over closer to me.

“Is he okay JR he has been acting really odd all day. I don’t even remember seeing him look so sad.”

“I’m afraid he isn’t okay cutie. He is upset and I can’t talk about the problem because he asked for it to stay private.”

“That’s okay I respect that.”

I brushed his wet mop of hair.

“Why don’t you go comb that?”

“Okay.”

He took off to comb his hair up in his mirror of his room and I sat down waiting for both of them to finish washing so I could go. It could still be a very hot and fun night but I don’t know with both of my cuties dealing with adult problems right now.