Chapter 18 Next funeral, more anger, more tears.

Matt came back downstairs hair combed and looking good. Nicky was in the shower now or at least heading for it. Matt came over to me.

“JR it’s not too later to do anything tonight is it? I mean I am only here for a few days.”

“No love its not too late we are waiting for Nick.”

“Yeah… I just wish he didn’t look and feel so bad.”

“Me too Matt and tomorrow isn’t going to be good at all.”

“I know I am still thinking about my mom too after burying her this morning. It’s the hardest thing I have ever had to do so far JR… outside of dealing with that witch.”

He came over as I stood a few feet from him and then he walked into my arms and hugged me.

“I know Matt. Its not easy losing your mom especially at your age and you did an exceptional job today of being a man. I wanted to tell you that.”

“Thanks.” He said hugging me tightly.

He broke the hug but I kept my arm around him.

“Come on lets go sit on the couch.”

He followed me over and I sat on the end and he took the seat next to me and as soon as I got comfortable he leaned on me.

“I sure miss this Jeremy. I miss being with you and every night while I am in my room or my bed. I think and wonder what you and Nick are doing over here all the time. At least tonight and tomorrow I won’t have to think about it because I will be here.” He looked up at me and smiled. “I couldn’t be happier right now unless my mom were still alive.”

“I know love, I wish she were too.” I put my arm around him some of the way. “Even then you would be home with her and I am sure we would have been together tomorrow either way for Nick’s dad’s funeral.”

“I am not looking forward to that at all JR. today was hard enough, having to do it again tomorrow is gonna be just as tough.”

“I can only imagine love… I can only imagine.”

“JR are we going to do anything tonight?”

“What would you like Matt?”

“I guess so. I mean I want to feel your hands on me and I want you to make me feel good and all but I don’t know how Nick is going to be after his shower and please forgive me for saying this but I really don’t want him spoiling the mood.”

“I understand Matt but if he wants to join in I am not going to stop him.”

“I wouldn’t want that but I don’t know how much fun he is going to want to have tonight with all this on his mind.”

“I agree. We’ll just have to wait and see.”

We sat there quietly for a bit both of us just taking in the peace and quiet of the house with no TV or radio on. Matt was leaning on me and I was rubbing his back, shoulders and occasionally his head with my hand. About ten minutes later we heard Nick walking upstairs and the shower water was off.

“I guess Nick is done JR.”

“Yeah we will be able to see what we are going to do soon.”

“I was really happy right here with what you were doing. It felt so awesome when you were running your hand up and down my back and into the top of my boxers. I love that.”

“And I love doing it.”

“I think I miss that the most.”

“I don’t do this to you a lot Matt.”

“No I mean I miss you touching me and your hands on me and all that. I don’t get anything from her but yelling and when I am here I get the exact opposite. You pay attention to me, love me, and touch me all over and it’s so awesome. You give me goose bumps and tickle me and all that JR it makes me feel really good.”

I leaned over and kissed him on top of his freshly shampooed head.

“You smell good.”

“Thanks JR, that’s another thing when I am here I can use my favorite shampoo. You have it here for me. Over there all she has is that tears free baby shampoo that I hate. I love that you get that stuff for me and take care of me that way JR.”

He leaned forward and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I turned to him and we were inches apart and I leaned in and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. He smiled.

“I like it when you do that. It makes me feel really special when you kiss me.”

“I like doing it too just not a lot. It’s for special times like this.”

Finally Nick was done and he came down the step. Still a little slower then normal but he was really doing well now with his knee getting stronger again. He walked over to us on the couch.

“JR if you don’t mind I really don’t feel much like doing anything but going to bed tonight. I’m sorry if that spoils any plans you might have had but I just don’t feel like doing anything but sleep right now.”

“That’s fine Nick. You didn’t spoil a thing. Want me to come up with you for a second?”

“That would be nice JR” He looked over at Matt. “Do you mind?”

“No of course not. I’ll watch a little TV until JR comes back down.”

“Thanks Matt.” I said to him.

I rubbed his head and got up to go up with Nick. I followed him silently to his bed and he got to it and took off his shirt. He was naked from the waist up now. I watched as he got into bed with just his pajama bottoms on and pulled the covers up to his belly. I grabbed the chair next to the bed; I had one under a desk there and sat next to him.

“You gonna be okay kid?”

“I don’t know JR. right now I feel pretty bad and I know what is going to happen in the morning. I am not looking forward to this at all.”

“I know. Is there anything I can do?”

“No, just sit with me for a while okay?”

“Sure pal.”

He got comfortable on his pillow and looked at me. I reached out and put my hand onto his exposed chest and ran my whole hand back and forth over his belly. I did this a few times and then stopped.

“That really felt good JR; would you do it a little more?”

“Sure. I’ll do anything to make you feel better.”

I put my hand back on his belly and ran it back and forth a few times. He was just starting to get some dark hair below his belly button and I ran my fingers through it a few times as I circled around his inny belly button. He was looking at me as I did this but still had very little expression on his face.

“If and when you are ready to talk I am here Nick. It doesn’t have to be now or even tomorrow. I know you wanted to say something earlier when Matt came down and you couldn’t but… when you are ready.”

“I will JR I promise but for now I just want you to do what you are doing. It feels so good and even tickles a little. I really need you here but I don’t want to talk, I just want your company.”

“You got it bud.”

We sat quietly for the next five or so minutes and I continued to run my hand over his belly and lower chest. His nipples grew hard and he was tenting out the covers from his hardening cock too. I took notice of both but didn’t do or say anything about either of them. I did however run my upper arm over his bump in the covers a few times and smile at him. He smiled back once. He finally closed his eyes as I continued to do this a little longer, slowly rubbing his chest and belly for him. I was in heaven touching the beautiful boy in front of me and I wished the circumstances were different and he was just getting this love from me because I could offer it not because he was close to losing his mind over all this. He was slowly drifting off to sleep in front of me. I looked at the precious, beautiful boy in front of me that was slowly falling off into slumber and finally starting to lose some of the worry that has been painted on his face all day. A few more minutes and I stopped but left my hand there. It rose and fell with his breathing for a little but and I waited to see if he would do or say anything and he remained quiet so I pulled my hand away after a few more minutes and got up from the chair. I moved it back to its original spot and went to put the night light out for him.

“Thanks JR.” he said softly. “Good night, I love you.”

I leaned in and kissed his forehead.

“I love you too cute boy. Sweet dreams.”

I cupped his right cheek with my hand for a second and then I turned to the light and switched it off and headed out. I left the door open a little and headed downstairs. Matt was half asleep on the couch with some wrestling show on the TV. I sat next to him as he was slumped over onto the pillow on the arm of the sofa and I started to rub the side of his belly now.

“That feels great JR.”

“So do you. It’s almost 10pm lets go to my bed and sleep together tonight love.”

He looked at me.

“I so much want to do that JR I have been waiting almost a week for you to ask me into your bed.”

He smiled at me and got up. I patted him on the ass and grabbed the remote to turn off the TV.

“I just have to secure the house love. You can go up if you want.”

“Hell no I am gonna wait right here for you and we can go up together.”

“Okay Matt I’ll be right back.”

He watched me from the bottom of the steps as I went to check the kitchen door and then to the front door before walking back over to him.

“Ready?”

“Oh yeah.” He said.

He turned and headed up the steps and I followed him patting and touching his butt all the way up the steps. Not one word was said the entire way. But I would bet something was growing… that’s for sure. As he headed for my room I turned off the hall light for downstairs and headed in after him. I shut my door almost all the way and looked his way. He was on my unmade bed from this morning watching me.

“So what do you want to do?”

He stood up and pointed.

“This is what you did to me by playing with my butt all the way up here.”

He was pointing at his small tent in his pajama bottoms. I now had both boys wearing them. Matt also had his tops on too since he was downstairs with me. I bought them both a few pairs last time we were all together.

“So you are pointing to your pants… I teased… do you have a problem down there?”

“Duh….” He laughed.

I walked over to him and took a closer look.

“Mmmmmmmmmm! I might need to check that out closer.”

He giggled. I reached out and felt the outline of his hardening cock through the PJ bottoms.

“Feels good to me.” I said as I looked at him. He was smiling widely.

“Feels good to me too JR… really good.”

He reached down and grabbed them and pulled. I watched as they fell to his feet and he stood there in just boxers.

“Do you want me to check them too or are you going to take them off?”

He looked at me and didn’t say a word. Slowly he lowed them as he kept teasing me. Finally it was time and he started to lower his boxers. I watched intently as they hit his small patch of pubic hair that was starting to fill in now and then I saw cock. I smiled at him and him at me as he pulled them off the rest of the way and they too fell to his feet. Now my thirteen year old Adonis was standing in the middle of my bed totally naked with about 4.5 inches of hard cock jutting out at me. As I got closer he fell to his butt on the bed.

“I have dreamed about this all week JR and I want this so bad! Look I am already wet!”

He pointed at the tip of his hard cock and it had a drop of precum at the end.

“Matt when did you jerk off last?”

“In that house? Where can I JR? The shower? She even yells at me if I take too long. Its been almost five days. I think if you touch it once it might go off.”

I laughed.

“I’m sorry sweetie I didn’t mean to laugh but the way you said it was pretty funny.”

“Not for me… I swear JR if I didn’t have to watch my brother and sister when she did go out I would be whacking it till I blew all over but I can’t even do that with them on my back all the time.”

“So I guess tonight and tomorrow you are going to get plenty of it in here?”

“Oh yeah and I hope you are doing most of it for me.”

He smiled.

“You horny kid you!” I said.

He nodded his head yes. I got on the bed next to him and reached for his squirter. He opened his legs for me and I grabbed it gently and started running my finger over the drop of cum that formed on the end. It was nice and he quickly started to squirm from what I was doing.

“Jeremy stop tickling me… please you are ruining the mood… I want to cum not pee and if you keep rubbing my hole I am gonna want to pee!”

“Sorry pal…”

I went back to rubbing his entire cock and then I got closer.

“Ready?”

“Oh yeah…” he said intently.

I leaned in and took a deep breath taking in all the sweet smell of the soap from his shower a bit earlier and then o covered his cock with my lips.

“Ohhhhh yeah!”

He said as he bucked his hips slightly upwards. I met his movement and together we quickly got a rhythm going. Before I was a minute into this he was almost forcing his cock into my mouth. I got off him and spoke.

“Matt please… I know you want this but you are not helping going that fast…”

“Sorry but I really gotta cum or I am gonna lose my mind.”

“Then you will but relax… I promise it will be soon.”

“Okay JR, sorry.”

I went back to what I was doing and he was flowing nicely now as I licked the head of his cock. I started sucking again and within a minute he was moaning.

“JR I am really ready now.” He said.

“Okay… I stopped for a second… You fire away when you want I am too.”

He didn’t say anymore and I went back to sucking him and within thirty seconds he was there. I didn’t even have to play with his ass or balls this time he just let out a gasp then started to moan again and bucked once more into my mouth and started firing away. He was going to town on me too. Four then five shots of cum flew out of my boys cock and quickly filled my mouth and rolled onto my tongue as I started to swallow quickly to meet his demand. It was awesome and the look on his face was totally priceless as he made more gestured as he came then I ever saw before. Finally I backed off and he seemed to be way off some place. I watched his face and cock alternating between them as he took his time enjoying is orgasm. A good minute later as he softened up he opened his eyes and tilted his neck to look down at me.

“OH MY GOD JR! That was amazing! You know I swear I never waited that long before but now I think I understand what they mean by mind blowing! I guess the longer you wait the better it feels when it finally happens but I can’t even explain how awesome that just felt… I am drained… one time and I am tired! Wow!”

“Okay Matt no problem we will save more for the morning. I have the alarm set for 7:30 if you want I will make it 7:15 and I will wake you up to a very special present.”

He smiled at me and shook his head yes.

“Yeah I would love that more than anything.”

“Okay then…its just after 10:30 let’s try to get some sleep and first thing in the morning you will get round two of what you missed all week.”

He sat up and moved over and I got into bed next to him. He immediately got close to me and then tried getting on me for a second.

“What are you doing?”

“I was going to get on you for a second and hug you while you lay there.”

“Oh… if you want a hug just ask I will gladly get up for one.”

“Nooooo I wanted to do it with you in bed so I can just lay there for a little bit and hear your heart beating and hold onto you and just feel you. JR I missed you so much and all I want is your touch for a little while okay?”

“Sure love… whatever you want. Come on up on me if you like.”

He sat up and sorta climbed up onto me as I lay there. I spread my legs and let the lower half of his body fall in between me almost to the point where he was crushing what was left of my hard on from getting him off. It was slowly going down but that wasn’t what this was about tonight. Not me just him being happy. The rest was following with my happiness coming from him. His head was now at my belly and he turned it and put his ear to my belly as he wrapped his arms around my hips. It was a little awkward but it was also wonderful having him apply pressure to my groin the way he was doing it. Finally he stopped squirming and settled into one spot and I brought my arms down to him. I put one on his upper back and started to rub and the other on top of his head and I played with his hair and run my fingers through it.

“That feels so awesome I don’t ever want you to stop doing that.” he said.

“I agree cute boy. I don’t think I ever want you to move either but we can’t sleep this way so just a little bit longer okay?”

“Sure.”

We stayed like that as long as I could take it and believe it or not he almost fell asleep that way. I really didn’t mind it to a point but it was a little tough on my balls after a bit. Finally I stopped rubbing and got his attention.

“Matt… Matty, come on love time to lie down and we can get some rest.”

“Huh… oh sorry JR I actually started to fall asleep. It felt so great. I just love being in your arms or I guess on you that way.”

“I liked it too but I am tired bud. Let’s get comfortable now.”

“Okay.”

He got off me but scooted right up next to me. I thought we were going to sleep but the little bugger took his hand and put it right onto my balls and then instead of trying to sleep he kept moving it. I started to get hard again and I wasn’t sure if he was doing it on purpose or just being totally innocent since there wasn’t a lot of movement.

“Matt…?”

“Yeah JR?”

“Do you know where your hand is?”

“Huh?” he got up and looked.

“Oh man… I’m sorry I didn’t mean to do that I wasn’t thinking about it. I was busy thinking about being here and just being so happy tonight for the first time this week. Please JR tell me that I don’t have to go back to her in a few days… please?’

“I’m sorry Matt you know as well as I do she laid down the law when I picked you up. My hands are tied and honestly I have a feeling Wednesday I am going to have a lot of problems with Nick… I don’t know that for sure but I am guessing after the funeral he might be even more messed up and I may have to take a personal day from work for him.”

“Wow JR is he that upset?”

“You saw him Matt what do you think?”

“I’m not sure I didn’t pay that close attention.”

“Did you see him smile?”

“No… not really and he usually smiles all the time. I guess you are right JR. he must be really hurt.”

“I don’t think either of us really knows how hurt he is sweetie but I hope to find out sometime tomorrow. He promised me we will talk and I hope you don’t mind but when he is ready I want to give him 100% so please don’t be mad if I ask you to come up here so we can be alone for a bit?”

“No way JR… I totally understand… I know you love him too and I would never hurt Nick that way. Its super cool… whenever he is ready I will give you guy’s privacy.”

“Thanks love now let’s see if we can sleep a little.”

“Yeah after what just happened I think I will be fast asleep soon. That wiped me out and felt so good I am still tingling.”

“Okay you… good night… I love you.”

“Nite…love you too.”

I lay there for a bit listening to him breath and thinking about how things are going to go later. This isn’t easy on me one bit but to have two so called funerals in two days is way out of my league pressure and emotion wise. This is fucking with my head. It was 11pm and I was still awake and still thinking about Nick and what I could do to help. Matt was asleep now and I sat up as slowly and quietly as I could and put my feet on the floor. I am awake might as well get something to drink. I got up and headed down to the fridge. I grabbed some milk and put the eleven o’clock news on. It was the first time I had watched it since vacation. I am usually deep asleep by now but not tonight… way too much on my mind. Finally I felt like sleeping as the late night programs started and I got up and turned the TV off. Let’s try this again. I headed up and went to check on Nick. I watched him from the doorway for a bit. He seemed quite restless so I stayed for a bit. His arms were moving and it looked like he was having a bad dream…I walked in and watched him closer and he kept moving around. Finally he started to mumble but it wasn’t discernable. I stayed close but kept an eye on him for now. He seemed to calm after a minute and I was about to go to bed and he let out a yell and kicked off his covers and woke up. This time I knew what was wrong because his yell was followed by ‘stop touching her now!’ I knew he was having a nightmare about what his father did to his sister. He sat up and looked around. He probably saw the shadow of me and forgot where he was and he yelled out again.

“Get away from me dad! Keep away!”

“Nick… Nicky it’s me JR… your dad isn’t here. Its okay boy.”

I put on the dull night light next to his bed and looked at him. He had fright in his eyes and he was sweating.

“Oh JR it was horrible…. Just horrible…”

I sat next to him on the bed and he hugged me. he was mumbling something but I couldn’t understand him as he squeezed me tightly. He wasn’t crying just scared to death from the way he was holding me.

“Its okay love… I said. I am here and no one is going to hurt you. Just relax its fine.”

After about a minute he spoke to me.

“I know JR… I know its okay now but the dream… it was so real... so horrible!”

“I am here if you want to talk.”

“No not now. Please just stay with me okay?”

“Sure love… no problem I am right here.”

He lay back down and closed his eyes. I put my hand on his belly like before and he grabbed my hand tightly and held it with both hands. I was worried about him now more than ever. Slowly he loosened his grip and after about five minutes he let go. He seemed to be calm enough so I got up and kissed his forehead and put the light back out. He didn’t say anything this time and I left his side and kept the door half way open just incase. The night light in the hall would help if he needed it. I went back to my room. It was now just before midnight and I sat down.

“Is Nick okay JR?”

“Matt you are awake?”

“Yeah I reached for you and you weren’t there so I woke up and then I heard Nick. It didn’t sound pretty at all.”

“It wasn’t. He is really scaring me Matt. Almost to the point where I might have to talk to his mom about it.”

“Is it that bad?”

“I don’t know. I am hoping he will finally talk to me after the funeral tomorrow and then we will see what happens.”

“I hope something good happens because he was scaring me over here the way he was acting. It wasn’t good at all.”

“I know love. Let’s try and sleep.”

“Okay JR, nite.”

“Nite love.”

Finally this time we did sleep and the rest of the night went quietly. The next thing I knew I was reaching for my alarm and it was 7:15 already. Still beats 5am! I shut it off and looked over at the perfect sweet loveable boy next to me who was about to get a very special wake up call from me. He was on his back so that made it just that much easier. I pulled the covers back and he didn’t move a muscle. At least he slept in his boxers… I thought. That would make this a little easier. I looked closely for his piss slot in them and finally without touching him I found it and moved the opening around until I found his small soft cock. It was hardly sticking out more than an inch as he slept peacefully in front of me. it was time for my sweet boy to get up… in more than one way! I got as close as I could and leaned into him trying as best as I could to get my mouth to his small penis. Finally I got there and I put my lips on it. I started wetting it and after almost a full minute he finally began to move. Another thirty or more seconds and he was moving a lot and also growing too. At least now I had something to lick. He has gotten about half hard and he finally looked down at me. I stopped and looked at him.

“Morning sleep head… I told you I was going to wake you with a sweet present.”

“Wow you sure did! That has to be one of the best ways to wake up in the world! Wow my dick is getting harder by the second and it feels so good!”

I didn’t say any more I just went back to sucking him. He was quiet too as I now had a full hard 4.5 inches to play with. He just lay there and I went up and down and slurped my way to some precum quickly. I knew he wouldn’t last, not many boys he age can! Within another minute I was getting plenty of it from him and he was starting to squirm now. He remained quiet and I kept sucking and licking. He started to breath heavily and buck a little now and then there was some gasping and next thing I knew I was getting my present. He let out a little yell and started to fire off into my mouth. Once again I was treated to his weet, sweet nectar as he shot one squirt after another into my mouth. Four total flew between my lips. He tasted great. I backed off him and let him lay there and enjoy his second orgasm in a few hours. He looked so beautiful I almost didn’t want to get out of bed. Especially since I know what I have to do next won’t be fun at all. Wake up Nick. I looked at him and how he was coming back to me.

“Wow! That’s the second time you did that to me now!”

“What’s that?” I asked.

“Made my head feel like it was going to blow up when I got the feeling. It was so strong JR I almost lost it! Same as last night. I cant ever get that feeling when I jerk off alone. What are you doing that I am not doing?”

“Don’t know love but I hope I keep doing it for you because you not only look cute you taste delicious too.”

He looked at me and I think he didn’t know what to say to that.

“What’s wrong cat got your tongue?”

“Kinda… I didn’t know what to say… you got me!”

I laughed.

“Okay go to do what you have to and I am gonna go wake up Nick.”

“That isn’t going to be much fun will it?”

“No, sadly it isn’t going to be fun at all.”

I got up and he followed me. I got a big hug before I left my room.

“Thanks for making my wishes and dreams come true today JR… I know its not going to be fun at all but at least I can be here for you and Nick too and the way today started was a lot better then yesterday for me. At least I can try and move on now.”

“I am so proud of you for saying that Matt. I hope you can move on too. Go take care of business and I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Okay JR.”

He took off and I headed over to Nicks room. I opened the door a little and poked my head in. He was sound asleep. I walked over and looked at my cute angel in front of me. I hated to do what I was about to because I know it will bring the worry and torture back to him that he let go of last night after that nightmare. I grabbed the chair and reached out for his belly and gave it a rub. It didn’t take long to get him to stir as I run my hand over his belly which was under the covers. He had them up to his neck but was sleeping on his back. As I waited he finally opened his eyes and looked around before focusing on me.

“Morning cute boy?”

“Hey JR. its morning already?”

“Yeah its 7:30 and time to get up and face the day. Your mom will be here in 45 minutes and she is bringing you to the church with her. Today is about you and your family. I will be there for you but you will be with your mom and sister today.”

“I know, and all the relatives on her side of the family including my cousin Josh who is 12 and who I can’t stand, all we do is fight.”

“For today you will be able to handle it just fine. I don’t want any problems from you and you know that don’t you?”

“Yes sir.”

“Good now get up and I’ll go make us some breakfast quickly and then you can eat before you go.”

“JR you don’t have to do that today. I don’t think I can eat a lot anyway. I think I’ll just have a bowl of cereal if that’s okay.”

“Sure it saves me all that work. Cereal it is.”

I walked out of his room to let him change and he quickly followed me with a question.

“JR should I get dress now or after I eat?”

“You probably should eat first and then come up and get your good clothes on.”

“Yeah I think you are right.”

He walked past me and into the bathroom after that and I headed downstairs. I got three bowls out and soon after that the two of them came down and met me in the kitchen. I took out what I wanted and they got their favorite kinds and we sat down and started to crunch away. The phone rang at 8am and I answered it. It was Margaret and she was checking to see how we were and tell us she was on the way and she might be a little early but not to rush. I talked to her for a little bit in private in the living room and told her that Nick’s attitude has changed and prepared her for what was going on with him. She understood and said she would talk to him and see if there was anything she could do. We hung up after that and I went back into the kitchen.

“That was your mom Nick she is on the way and will be here a little early but don’t worry she isn’t rushing us.”

“Good because I wanted more cereal.”

He poured another bowl of his coco crisps and added a little more milk. Matt took the opportunity to have more Sugar pops at the same time. I sat back down to my soggy bowl of Captain crunch and had a few more scoops before I got up and dumped it for a cup of fresh coffee or as good as I can make here. We were all in out pajama bottoms now since she was on the way and I didn’t want to raise any suspicion. As my coffee was finishing up there was a knock on the door and I went over to open it and she was standing there with fresh coffee and donuts.

“Come on in.” I laughed.

“What’s so funny?” she said as she entered with Sara.

“I was just making some coffee.”

“Oh I’m sorry JR I didn’t know.”

“Please Margaret don’t worry about it I would rather have what you brought that the slop I make.”

She handed me a cup and we walked into the kitchen. Her and Sara went over to Nick and she gave her son a kiss and he got up and looked at Sara and then the hugged. Margaret looked at me.

“Wow JR that hasn’t happened in a long time.” She said in a low voice. “What have you been doing to my young man to get him to change?”

“I think he misses her and you a lot. It has nothing to do with what I am doing.”

“I am sure there is something there JR you have definitely helped him more then I could.”

She smiled and rubbed my back for a second and then went over to Matt.

“Hey sweetie how are you holding up today?”

“I’m okay thanks.” He said.

“Good if you need anything or an extra ear to talk to I am here for you okay?”

He looked at her.

“Thanks. If I need to talk I will tell JR and we’ll get you.”

She brushed his hair and gave him a kiss on top of his head and then looked at me. She faked a smile and walked over. After that both boys headed upstairs to get dressed giving us a minute alone.

“This isn’t going to be fun at all.”

“I know Mar. I am sorry you have to do this.”

“Yeah Jeremy I know, I understand what you told me before on the phone too and when I get them both in the car I will talk to them in private.”

“Good because it hasn’t been easy watching Nick change into a boy I suddenly don’t know.”

“I totally understand. I hate it too and that evil, evil man is the cause for all this. After today I hope I can put him out of my mind and not have to worry about the hell he has put us through for the past few weeks.”

“I’m gonna go change so when Nick comes down you three can go and we will meet you there. Thanks for bringing coffee Margaret.”

“Thank you for taking care of my boy for me.”

“That is a pleasure. He is great to have around most of the time.”

“I know what you mean JR.”

I headed up to change and went over to Nick’s room before I went to mine.

“You okay bud?”

“No JR I am not okay at all. I don’t want to do this. I hate it and I am scared.”

“I’m sorry pal. I wish there were something I could do for you.”

“There isn’t JR I am going to have to man up and deal with this. I am not just scared I am really mad to that he did this to us. Did this to my sister! I hate him JR I freakin hate him!”

It was good he was getting some of this out now but he is far from through this. This is just the beginning. He went on a ranted for the next minute or so as I stood there listening. Matt poked his head out for a second and looked at me and got the idea he needed to just ignore this and he went back into his room. Finally Nick was done and he looked at me. Tears in his eyes he came over and gave me a hug.

“You wanted me to do that didn’t you?” he said after a while.

“Yes I did. I want you to get it out as best as you can so you don’t feel bad or embarrassed in front of your family later.”

“Thanks JR but I don’t think that much is going to change I will still be mad when I get there.”

“I know Nicky, I know. But I will be there and so will your mom. Now you look great go wipe your face and get going your mom is downstairs with your sister waiting for you.”

“Oh man I just did all that and I totally forgot she is down there.”

He turned a little red.

“I am sure she will understand now come on Nick lets get a move on. Your mom will talk to you in the car and get everything worked out in private.”

I got another quick hug and he took off for the bathroom. He was in and out quickly and he smiled and waved to me as he went by and headed downstairs. I patted his butt as he went by but he didn’t do anything except keep walking. I heard some small talk downstairs but I didn’t listen and then I heard the door close. I am not looking forward to this. I went to my room to get dressed and Matt came in shortly after that.

“You think Nick is going to be okay JR?”

“I can only hope so Matt. This isn’t like yours was his dad was the cause of his problems while your mom sadly just got sick and… “I let my words trail off not needing to finish my statement.

I got dressed while he watched and then I turned to him.

“How do I look?” I asked him.

“Great considering what we are about to do. How do I look?”

“Like I want to eat you for lunch,”

He smiled.

“Thanks JR. are you sure we can’t do anything so I can stay here after tonight?”

“No love not yet. Let’s wait for Friday and see what happens. Maybe your moms will might surprise us.” I said hoping for the best.

“Yeah maybe mom got to fix it before she died and she is letting me live with you instead of the witch.”

“Okay Matt that’s enough about her.”

“Yes sir.”

I was all ready now and I walked over to him and patted him and we headed downstairs. I checked the house and we were out the door and headed to the truck.

“Matt you get in I am going next door for a second to see if Bonnie is ready.”

“Sure JR.”

I knocked on Bonnie’s door and Bastion opened it.

“Hey JR what’s up?”

“Just checking to see if you and mom are going?”

“Yes we are I am just waiting for mom she feels a little under the weather today but she is still going.”

“Okay then maybe I should get Tommy?”

“I’m not sure JR you want to hang on and I will go ask her?”

“Sure.”

I waited as he took off to ask his mother. He was back quickly.

“She said yes and thanks that will be a big help.”

“Okay bud, I’ll see you at the church.”

“See ya there JR.”

I turned to go and he shut the door. I sure hope Bonnie is okay. I got in and started the truck.

“We are going to get Tommy, Matt.”

“Oh, okay is something wrong in Bastions house?”

“Just his mom. She is a little under the weather.”

“Oh that’s too bad are they still going to come?”

“Yes as soon as possible.”

“Good.” Matt said.

We arrived at Tommy’s house and he came out to see me.

“What are you doing here coach?”

“Bastions mom isn’t feeling well so I am getting you.”

“Oh, okay let me tell my mom.”

He ran in and said something and then ran back out and got into the back of my truck.

“Okay boys we are off.”

Tommy and Matt made small talk while I drove to the church mostly about how Matt was doing living with his aunt and boy did Matt give Tommy an ear full about how much he hated it. I looked in my rear view mirror at Tommy and he looked dazed from the bitching he was getting from Matt about his aunt. Something tells me he won’t ask Matt anything about her after this for a while. I almost laughed but it was serious and Matt was actually getting to vent to someone else. Poor Tommy! I pulled into the driveway and parked and we got out. Tommy couldn’t wait to get out. I did smile but just to myself. At least I don’t have to deal with Mary today. I saw a few familiar faces and we headed to the front door. As we climbed the steps Nick came walking out to greet us.

“I don’t want to be in there JR.” He said to me in front of the boys. “It not good for me.”

“I’m sorry Nick but you know as well as I do that you have to do this today. Now come on lets go inside. You will be fine.”

“Okay but I won’t be fine.”

He walked in with us and Margaret had a relieved look on her face as she saw him with me. She got up and walked over to me.

“Thanks Jeremy. He isn’t good with this at all.”

“I know he just told us at the front door. This isn’t going to be easy at all.”

“I know, she said as the boys went to sit down, he freaked when he saw the casket and he asked me if his father was inside and I said yes. Thankfully no one was here then but it took everything I had to calm him down. I am so glad you are here.”

She gave me a hug and I felt her trembling.

“Its gonna be okay Margaret... just relax it will be fine.”

Of course I didn’t have a clue but I needed to calm her down she was a wreck. We went to sit back down and relatives and other family members started to fill the church and come up and give her their condolences. Apparently Margaret and her husband knew quite a lot of people, they had a huge family, or someone knew them. The church was half full by the time the priest came out to address us. Nick was still up front next to his mom on one side and Sara was on the other. She was dabbing her eyes with a tissue as he spoke and Sara just sobbed quietly. Nick was very restless and fidgeting badly in his seat to the point where Matt whispered in my ear if he was okay. So far it was going well but as the priest stopped speaking and went to grab something off the podium Nick got up and yelled out ‘I can’t do this!’ and he stormed up the walkway towards the back church doors.

The church got loud and one of the older men got up and went after Nick. I am guessing it was his grandfather or something because he stopped for a second as the man caught up with him and then Nick listened to what he was saying and then pulled away and headed out into the front vestibule. Margaret looked at me pleading with her eyes for me to do something so I nodded yes and I got up and headed after him. Half the people in the place were watching me as hushed comments were being said by a lot of the family and friends. I heard someone say who is he as I walked by and headed after Nick. I walked past the older man and he looked at me as if he were saying where are you going buddy. I smiled at him to try and be nice and headed towards the front as almost all the eyes in the church were on me now. I felt a little embarrassed as I left my seat and walked back to the rear of the church and into the vestibule after Nick. I looked left and then right and he was sitting in the chair with his head bowed. I walked over to him and got down on my knees.

“Nicky… look sweetie I understand this isn’t easy but you have to do this for your momma and sister… now come on and get up so you can come back with me.”

He didn’t look at me or go to get up. I reached out for his arm and he pulled away.

“Okay Nick if this is what you want I will leave you all alone back here to cry by your self.”

I got up and started to walk away.

“No wait… Please?”

I turned back to him and he got up and came to me and hugged me.

“Please make the pain go away JR… please?”

He said as he squeezed me tight. I rubbed his head and he looked up at me.

“I am sorry love but I can’t do that. You need to work this out in your head and deal with it as a young man. I will be there and so will your mom and friends. We will get you through this. Now come one Nick dry your face and let’s get you back to your momma.”

“Okay JR.”

He wiped his face as best as he could and he walked back in with me head up and holding it together as best as he could. If only the others knew what I did about what his father did to his daughter and how strong Nick really was being at the moment. But they didn’t. He went and sat with his mom and she kissed his head a few times. I went and sat back down next to Matt and he gave my hand a squeeze as I put it on the seat next to me. Margaret turned and looked at me with tears in her eyes and broke off a smile as if to say thanks and then she looked back at the priest and things got quiet again. The rest of the service was mostly quiet except for some sniffles and a few minor outbursts of crying as the priest said a few sad things about his dad. It ended after a prayer and they announced where we were going to put the body to rest and eat afterwards. People started to get up and give their respects to Margaret and her kids as I sat and watched from behind. Eventually the line ended and she got up and headed out as one of the last people to leave. We all headed to our cars and waited for them to take the body to the hearse. About ten minutes later while I waited quietly with Matt (Tommy went with Bonnie) and we made small talk the line of cars started to follow in the funeral precession to Nick’s father’s final resting place. We arrived there about twenty minutes or so later. Matt didn’t say a word the entire ride and I reached out after I parked and grabbed his hand and he looked at me.

“You okay bud?”

“Not really JR. I am thinking a lot about my momma and this hurts just like yesterday but I will be okay. I know she is in a better place now.”

We got out after that and I put my arm around him as we walked over to the graveside. There were a lot of people gathered around but when we got there Nick came over to me and made sure I was up front next to him. It was really sweet and probably pissed a few people off but he came to me I didn’t push through the other people. There was a graves side prayer and then it ended quickly after that and unlike yesterday when there were flowers and dirt tossed on the casket everyone started to walk away after the priest said thank you. Nick was the first to go and he grabbed his mothers hand and practically yanked her away from the gravesite and pulled me with his other hand as if he really wanted to get out of there. We hurried back to the car basically with Nick pulling both of us and we stopped when we got far enough away according to Nick who was suddenly leading the gathering quickly away from his father. When we got back to the black limo he looked at his mom and then hugged her and started to cry as she held him tightly. I looked at her and then at Matt.

“We’ll be over at my truck Margaret when he feels a little better you can wave me back over okay?”

“Sure Jeremy. Thanks.”

I walked over with Matt and finally Matt broke his silence. He hadn’t spoken since we got out of the car.

“I think I know how he feels JR. I know it’s not the same because of what his dad did but he made a bad mistake and I don’t know if he should be judged only on that mistake now.”

“That is really grownup of you to say that Matt but you see I have a feeling there is more to it then just Nick being mad right now at his dad because of the fire. We’ll just have to wait and see.”

I know there is more but Matt doesn’t and it’s really something he shouldn’t know unless Nick wants him to.

“I know what you mean JR but really something else has to be wrong. I never saw Nick this upset.”

“I know love. I know.”

I gave him a hug and held in to me with my arm around him while we kept our distance and gave Nick, Sara, and Margaret some private time. Finally she looked at me and waved us back over.

“Thanks for waiting guys I think we are ready to go have something to eat. You can follow us over if you want.”

“Sure Margaret. No problem.”

I looked at Nick after I talked to her.

“You gonna be okay pal?”

“I don’t know yet JR. I have too much on my mind and I need to talk to someone. I just told my mom that when we are done I really want to sit down and talk to you.”

“That’s fine, you know I will be here and listen to you.”

He once again tried to break off a smile to me but it just wasn’t happening yet. I leaned over and gave Sara a kiss on top of the head and she smiled at me. I took her by the hand.

“You’re gonna be just fine I know it.” I said.

“Thank you.” She replied.

“Okay kids in the car.” Momma said and we turned and headed to my truck.

We got in and Matt looked at me before I could even start it.

“Was I that bad yesterday JR?”

“No love you weren’t and Nick has worse problems then you did. I hope it doesn’t hurt you when I say that but there is more going on I am just not able to tell you.”

“I know JR. there has to be more because he is really hurtin!”

“I know Matt… I know.”

That ended the talk about Nick for a while. We followed them to the restaurant and all had a nice meal before we were ready to go. I got up with Matt and walked over after we ate and gave Margaret a big hug and kiss thanking her for everything.

“I am ready to go now. I said to her. Is Nick staying with you?”

She looked at him.

“I don’t know what to do mom do you want me there today?”

“That is up to you dear. I know you are hurting and want to talk to JR so I won’t be mad if you want to go back with him.”

“Thanks mom I really do want to talk.”

I know honey… call me if you need anything or if you are ready to talk to me too.”

“I will I promise.”

They hugged and held their embrace for a while and then finally they broke apart and she kissed her boy on the cheek and tweaked his nose.

“You be good for JR now. I will see you soon.”

“I will mom I love you.”

“I love you too sweetie.”

He gave his sister a hug and then he turned and looked at me.

“I’m ready JR.”

Then he looked at Matt and we headed out waving good bye. We got to my truck and got in. none of us were talking and the entire way home was quiet, so quiet that I put the radio on in the truck for noise. I stopped to get a few things at my favorite coffee shop and the boys waited in the truck. It took a few minutes and I was back out and we were heading home. I pulled in and Bastion came over with Tommy to see how Nick and Matt were. I went inside while the boys talked a little and about five minutes later Nick and Matt came in alone.

“We’re back JR I am going to change.”

“Okay Matt.”

“Me too JR.”

“Okay Nick.”

I made myself something to drink and sat down in from of the TV for a bit. Ten minutes later both boys came down together dressed in their usual street clothes.

“JR if it’s okay I would really like to talk now.” Nick said.

I looked at Matt.

“Would you mind kiddo?”

“No of course not I have things I can do in my room just come get me when you are done.”

“Sure cutie. Thanks.”

“Yeah thanks Matt.” Nick added.

“No problem!”

We went over to the kitchen table and I sat with my drink I waited for the door to close to Matt’s room upstairs Then Nick sat too. He finally seemed ready to talk. Nick and I sat at the kitchen table in private and he looked at me. He looked beaten down and worn out. Two hideous things for anyone to look like but even worse a thirteen year old. Almost like he had just fought a battle against a bully and lost big time. I smiled at him but he looked stoically back at me almost as if he was looking through me instead of at me. As we sat across from one another at the kitchen table I reached out and took his hand and gave it a squeeze and that brought him back to me.

“Sorry JR I was just thinking about what I wanted to tell you last night but I didn’t know how to put it or even how much I wanted to tell you. Then Matt came downstairs and I couldn’t say it at all but now that I know my father is gone I want to talk to you and tell you all of it. It has been bothering me for a while and I think it’s why you said what you did to me yesterday too.”

“You mean about how you have been acting and all that?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay cute boy you take your time and tell me whatever it is that is bothering you so much when you are ready.”

He cleared his throat. His eyes were still red and his hair a bit messy but what scared me was the paleness in his face now and most of all that all the happiness has seemed to have drained out of him lately and I didn’t know why. Well I had a clue but still I wasn’t totally sure. Nothing… football, his sister, his mom, or anything that he normally loved to do have cheered him up and I was getting scared for him now.

“JR when I was younger around eight or so years old my mom and dad got along really well and I can remember there wasn’t any arguing back then and hardly a day went by when my mom and dad wouldn’t kiss in front of us or smile and hug. Ya know anything to make us feel like we lived in a warm, loving home and show that they really did love each other. My sister was getting older like I was too but I remember my dad saying to me that he was the man of the house but when he wasn’t there I was soon going to be old enough to be the man of the house. He talked about it often as I got older. I wasn’t really sure if he was trying to tell me something or if he was just trying to make me feel grown up and ready for it but for the longest time he would tell me every so often that when I was ten and older if he had to go away on business or for whatever reason that I was old enough to be the man of the house. Finally I reached that age and I guess that what he said stuck with me because even to this day I can still hear him saying that to me. It made me feel really important then and I guess he said it to me so much that when I caught him doing that to my sister I couldn’t believe it at first. That it wasn’t him I was looking at. That day is still clear in my head JR and when I walked in on them I was so shocked that I just stood there and watched for a bit before he even realized I was there. When he finally took his eyes off what he was doing to her and he turned and looked at me all I saw was surprise and shock and then they seemed to turn evil. I swear I saw something in them and it really scared me like it wasn’t even him I was looking at and in another way maybe even shocked me that the man in front of me at that moment… that taught me right from wrong and that I loved, trusted, cherished and obeyed and respected because of all that he taught me had his hand down between my eleven year old sisters legs and was doing horrible things to her.”

He swallowed hard and his eyes welled up with tears. I gave his hand a squeeze and he squeezed back and held on tightly for a few seconds before he started to talk again.

“JR I had the perfect view of his hand and her and I couldn’t even think or guess I was dreaming… he looked at me and shouted after he came to his senses ‘Get Out! Get the fuck out of here Nick right now!’ I wasn’t sure what to do but I turned and left that room faster than anything else I had ever done in my life. I slammed that door behind me and if my mom was home I would have gone to her but she wasn’t so I did the only thing I could think of doing… I ran to my room and shut door behind me and hid in there.”

Tears were now running down his face and I was starting to get teary too. I got up after letting go of his hand and got both of us a glass of water and then a short minute later sat back down with him at the table.

“Okay sweetie are you done or is there more?”

“I am only some of the way done JR. the rest that I told you after you rescued me. That was only the part I wanted you to know… when we were in the ambulance and I told you what happened. That was about a week before he started the fire. I was way too embarrassed to say anymore then and honestly I wasn’t going to ever talk about this next part but I have to. He came to my door about a half hour after I caught him with my sister and he walked in on me. I was still in my bed lying on my belly with my back to him, my head turned towards the wall. I had just finished crying. He walked towards me and started to talk. I didn’t look at him but I heard every word he said. He said Nicky I don’t know what you think you saw me doing but whatever you think you saw I expect you to forget it and never ever mention it to anyone. Nothing bad was happening and you can’t go talking to anyone especially your momma about this. She wouldn’t believe you anyway and then you would never be the man of the house even if she were to believe you and kick me out. He didn’t say anymore to me then or talk to me for a while. Then he did something to totally shock me. I was in the shower about three or so days after I found him with my sister and he came into the bathroom and totally embarrassed me by yanking the shower curtain back on me.”

“Wow Nick I am sorry to hear that.”

“That’s not the whole thing either JR… I was sorta in there… ya know… getting… his face was turning red now as he tried to get the words out… I was jerking off JR… it was like he planned this for the worst possible time… but anyway… he pulled the shower curtain back and I was hard and soapy… I was never so embarrassed in my life but the sad thing was that he didn’t even seem to care what I was doing all he did was look me up and down once and then stare into my eyes. Then he said I better not forget what he told me in my bedroom or else the next time I was in the shower I could have bigger problems then just him embarrassing me. He let go of the shower curtain after that and just walked out of the bathroom leaving the door wide open and the shower curtain hanging out of the tub.”

He was holding it together as best as he could and not crying at the moment but still squeezing my hand as his long story of his turmoil continued. It was starting to make sense to me now… some too about him not wanting to be with me for one minute and then wanting whatever I could give him and more a few minutes later. The poor kid was totally traumatized over this and I could see it now!

“You okay to keep going Nicky?”

“I think so JR. I really want to finish this because I don’t know if I can say it ever again to anyone.”

“I understand love… you take all the time you need. I am right here for you.”

“I know JR, thanks… you have no idea how hard this is for me and knowing you are here is just making it a little easier to talk about…. It’s been stuck inside me for so long!”

“I know Nicky… I know.”

I gave his hand another squeeze. He tried to smile at me and then once again cleared his throat.

“I am almost done JR… so I shut the bathroom door and fixed the shower curtain… I am sure you know I couldn’t finish what I was doing and honestly I couldn’t do anything for a while after that. Every time I wanted to his face standing in front of me came back to me like it was the same thing all over again… I didn’t jerk off till after the fire JR… the next time I did anything was with you.”

Now he smiled at me for a second.

“I am so proud of you for being able to tell me all this cute boy.”

“No more then I am happy to finally get it all out. Now you can see why I told you last night that couldn’t tell my mom most of this… its way, way too embarrassing!”

“Yeah I sure can. You have anymore?”

“Just a little.”

“Sure Nick… whenever you are ready.”

“We went about two or three more days and then one day I heard noises coming from her room again and I cracked the door open and he was in there with her again. I shut it fast but he knew I was there and I ran to my room and shut my door and locked this time so he couldn’t get to me. After a bit I called my mom and I guess he must have heard me talking to her on the phone or something. I couldn’t bring myself to tell her anything on the phone but I did get to say I had something very important to tell her that night… you know like I said to you in the ambulance … the next thing I knew the house was on fire and I couldn’t get out… I panicked and I guess I passed out… then you found me… you know the rest from there.”

“Wow, yes I do… so you actually caught him a second time and then he knew he was trapped and pretty much right then he decided to do what he did.”

“I guess so JR, I was in my room pretty much hiding, and I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t know if he was going to abuse me next or just beat on me until I agreed to keep quiet after the threat in the shower. I was way too scared to even think straight at the time. Thinking back now I was just happy one way or another my sister got out of there… somehow. I never did ask her how. It was too hard to bring myself to talk to her about any of it or even like you said tell her that I knew it wasn’t her fault that any of this happened to her.”

I got up and walked around the table to his chair. He got up and looked up at me. I held out my arms and he came into them and put his around me and I held him tight. We hugged for some time but nothing more then just hugged. This time there were no tears. It almost felt like his pain and suffering was all but gone but I knew better. He was probably relieved some but he has a tough long road ahead of him until he recovers I think. I can’t get in his head so I am not totally sure but no one gets over this that fast. It all makes sense now… the sadness, the fear, the occasional nightmare and the emotional rollercoaster he has shown me sexually and non sexually.

“Nicky I need to ask you something very important now. Okay sweetie?”

He broke our hug and looked up at me, his eyes still red, but no tears at the moment in them.

“Sure JR ask anything.”

“Please tell me that what we have been doing since you got here hasn’t hurt you more.”

“I don’t understand what you mean JR.”

“I mean the sex, the fun we have… when I do those things to you and you back to me sometimes. Please tell me honestly Nick that you didn’t come to me for any of this because you needed or felt like you had to do this.”

He looked at me.

“JR I swear to you that everything we did was because I wanted to not because you made me.”

“Then what about the other day when you said that to me?”

“Said what JR?”

“The part about me touching you and then earlier with you getting mad because I was getting you hard and I stopped. All that talk, all that anger that isn’t you Nicholas. That isn’t the boy I fell in love with during football practice.”

“No JR that isn’t me. That is what holding all this inside made me feel like. When I didn’t know what to say or who to say it to… when I didn’t know I could really trust you to listen to me and not think I was lying or a freak… that was all my hurt inside me… I was holding it in and I didn’t know what to say or who to say it to until now. I want to go back to how I was JR now that my father is gone and I know he is totally gone I want my life back to how it was before my father did that to my sister… I want my smile back and my happiness back I just don’t know how to get it back now!”

“You will sweet boy… you will get it back and I really think that what you told me is the first and biggest step to get you back to normal. I also think you need to talk to your sister privately and talk about what happened and cry with her.”

“I don’t know if I can do that JR… I love her but I just don’t know… it still hurts too much and I am really afraid of what might happen if I broke down in front of her like I did with you… I don’t know if I could take it seeing her cry over what he did to her and even worse I don’t know what I would say to her yet. What if I said the wrong thing JR would I make things worse… what if I screwed it up so badly that she never wanted to talk to me again?”

He was getting visibly upset again as he talked about her.

“Okay, okay Nick I hear you and I understand. You don’t have to talk to her yet but you really do need to do something soon.”

“I will JR but please don’t rush me or make me do it before I am ready.”

“I won’t, I promise I won’t.”

“Thanks.”

“Are we done?”

“Yes you can go call Matt now I feel bad I had to chase him away and he is only here one more night.”

“Its okay he’ll live.”

I walked over to the bottom of the steps.

“Matt you can come down now.”

“Okay JR be down soon.” He yelled back.

I turned and looked at Nick.

“You want to come sit with me? I’ll hold you and we can just be together for a bit. No talking just you me and Matt okay?”

“Yeah I would like that a lot.”

We worked our way over to the couch and I sat in the middle and Nick on my left. No sooner then we sat Matt came downstairs and saw us on the couch. I patted the seat next to me and he immediately came over.

“We are just hanging out for a while Matt. No talking unless you want to but we just want to be together and rest and think. You want to join us I would love it.”

“Oh yeah JR I would love to be with you and Nick for a while and just have some quiet time.”

He sat next to me and the three of us together on the couch remained there for a while. None of us talked we just hugged and I gave them some kisses and rubbed them in various non sexual places. We were content and in no hurry for this to end.